April Showers Bring May Flowers…

If that’s true then where the hell are my flowers?  This is a bitter sweet month for me, alot of good shit happens in the month of May mixed with the bad.  This Memorial day will mark the 9th anniversary of my little brother’s death and this week also marks the sudden death of my oldest sister last May.  Yeah so this week last week all damn month has been up and down, because you remember the good times and the fact that you aren’t making any new memories with them body slams me into a thick fog of sadness.  But a few flowers bloomed this month, oldest son turned 24, and the baby girl aka last of them Negros, graduated from high school this week and will be off to college in two months!!! Yep I can’t wait to go all out with my balls out!!! I made it through and to me the hard part is done, I’ve laid a foundation and started them on the road to becoming who they were created to be!!! What??? Don’t be jealous cause I still look like I’m in my mid to late 20’s and my kids are grown LOL *well almost anyway*  Anyway I know y’all didn’t come here for that so let me end this post and get on to the next one…

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Posted by on May 25, 2012 in Uncategorized


I was going to write one of those post about how I am back and everything but what’s the use? It would be my third or fourth one for this blog which is sad.

No excuses……no shit talking……I just have to get into it.


I was going to …

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Posted by on April 29, 2012 in Uncategorized


I’m so over this shit…

Happy Friday!  I should be break dancing right now because I’ve had a long and stressful week, but instead I’m sitting here in my office with a fucking headache.  I wish I was outside!  It’s a beautiful day, but everywhere I look there are reminders of the April 27, tornadoes, the shit is sad.  My hair is acting a fucking fool!  I am so over this natural hair shit!!! I know I will never relax my hair again, but damn if I’m not over this shit.  April 4th of this month made 3 years natural and I haven’t found my groove yet.  My hair hates all fucking products, and my edges are so fucking sensitive that when I pull my hair up in an afro puff, after an hour I’m ready to kill somebody.  My boo just texted me saying he is waiting for his turn to get a hair cut.  When I woke up this morning and took these damn twists down I looked at him and told him I want to cut this shit off my head and start again.  He asked how short, and I replied who cares!  People think once you stop relaxing your hair and “go natural” that it’s all fun, games and love fests but its not.  It’s hard work, HARD FUCKING WORK!  More work then I have time for, more work that I’m interested in doing, and just plain more fucking work for someone who is NOT a morning person.  Right now, I’m not in love with this shit, I spent two hours washing, conditioning moisturizing and twisting my hair last night…and right now my hair looks like SHIT!  I’m waiting on one of my colleagues to bring me the number of a natural hair stylist here and I’m going to give her a go…if that don’t work, I’m cutting my hair and keeping it cut short.  Period, the END…I’m SOOOOOOOO over this shit and it seems that “going natural” is all the rage yall go right ahead, you will understand in a minute. 

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Posted by on April 27, 2012 in Uncategorized


You don’t know me…

This is dedicated to all you punk ass kids who don’t know who we parents use to be! “eah you call me momma but you don’t know me!”

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Posted by on April 23, 2012 in Uncategorized


You don’t know my life….

Lately I’ve been pondering the meaning of life and the why to it all…I’m lying my ass off LOL! What I’ve really been thinking about is how this generation of young people and the one before this one are so fucking utterly and totally disrespectful.  “But Pretty you cuss like a sailor”  Why yes I do but I NEVER cuss infront of my elders and I know the meaning/definition of respect!  I NEVER challenged my mother to a battle and lawd have mercy on my little brown round ass if I THOUGHT about sassing her back!  I got my ass kicked once when I was growing up cause my moms said cut the bullshit and go to bed.  My dumb ass brother decided that he was gonna make all the noise he wanted too, while I on the other hand went my ass to sleep.  The next thing you know my moms busting up in the room looking like the Incredible fucking Hulk and my ass is being drug from my place of slumber all while her belt was kissing my ass!!! My momma didn’t play!  She was and still is a gangster!!! She is SOOOOO gangster that my children have nicked her Gwen Hoover *Does Larry Hoover ring a bell* And I’m lovingly called Big Meech not only by my kids but by all their friends. And do you want to know why!??????? Cause I’m a fucking gangster!  I believe in discipline and I don’t like bad ass kids.  Let me go on record saying this those late 80’s babies and those 90’s babies and beyond are fucking evil little minions.  I can drop kick 90% of those lil bastids and what really errkks me about them is they see a person like me and at first glance I can appear to be harmless, a non threat.  But LOOK DEEPER little one because you don’t know my life!  I will fuck you UP!  “Praize baby jebus!” Alot of the bullshit that’s going on in society right now can be blamed directly on punk ass parenting!  What’s punk ass parenting might you ask??? Well lemme give you an example.

Mother #1 in the store with her children and little Jimmy is tearing the fucking cereal isle apart because mommy said NO he couldn’t haven’t a certain cereal.  Jimmy is cutting a fool, mommy cracks from embarrasement and caves and gives Jimmy what he wants. When Jimmy reaches age 15 you’ll find his mommy buried under the house because she was a punk bitch and didn’t beat his ass in the isle that day.

Mother #2 is in the store and Jaquan asked his momma if he could go to the bathroom but momma was so busy on her cellphone cussing Jaquan’s deadbeat dad out she didn’t hear the child.  So Jaquan taps his mother on the leg to try to get her attention and momma smacks the piss out of Jaquan literally and proceeds to giving him a beating with cuss words and insults that would break the soul of baby jezus himself.  At age 15 Jaquan is doing juvie life cause his momma broke his little spirit and he went looking for love in the streets.  OH and by the way at age 12 Jaquan was physically bigger than his momma so he began cussing HER ass out and that scared her so she let it slide.  That’s when she needed to tap that ass.

There are other examples of punk ass parenting but this could take all day.  I tell my kids all the time you don’t know my life…yall jokingly call me Big Meech but umm yeah, although I never dealt drugs, I dealt with muhfuckas accordingly.  And I’ve had to teach both my sons only once who the fuck I use to be.

Before I became your “momma” I was PrettyRoundBrown, and if I must say so myself, I cleaned up really nice seeing as though I was a fucking thug who LOVED physical confrontations.  Parents RAISE up and teach these lil fuckers who you were before you because known as momma, now if you was a punk in the streets and you’re a punk parent now then there is no hope for you.  Go sit in yo time out corner!

But if you were on some gangsta shit, and parenthood turned you into a God fearing, straight lace, law abiding citzen and you now have kids who are pressing on that last nerve, testing your gangster.  Beat they ass and while you beating them tell where the fuck you from and how yall rolled!!!

Since when I busted baby boy head to the fat white meat for challenging me, from that point on all I hear playing in my head is T.I’s “You don’t know Me” LMAO!  After an ambulance ride and a night in jail, his ass know who the fuck I was and I have no problems out of him!!!

Parents whip these chilren, teach these chilren, put the fear of gawd in their asses.  And FUCK child services (only if you are discipling your children and not abusing them) FUCK the police (make sure when they come they have a reason to take you away) And FUCK other punk ass parents who scold you for discipling YOUR children.

I’m done…But remember them kids don’t know who we use to be ya better show em!


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Posted by on April 23, 2012 in Uncategorized


EFF Grandad!

I woke up with this song playing in my head, and it reminded me of how many niggah moments I’ve avoided and how many I’ve given into….we should have a Million Niggah Moment March or something to fight this shit. But then if we did we’d have a million niggahs trying to kill each other cause the otha niggah stepped on they damn shoes while we were marching. *sigh*

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Posted by on April 19, 2012 in Uncategorized


Just Like Me

Yep, I know it’s hard to believe but I’m back, I don’t know how long it will be for so love me up while I’m here. “But PrettyRoundBrown where have you been?” *sigh* “Bitch I’m Bipolar don’t hold it against me.”  I have my writing highs and I have my writing lows. When I’m in full mania I crank out blog posts all over the internet and when I hit a low I’m inside myself trying not to do harm, damage or hurt to people places or things. I know I don’t owe you mofos any explanations and I’m sure at this point any readers/followers we collected along this roller coaster ride have gotten off and moved on to the next ride. That’s cool, I just dipped in to say that we still love you, I still love ranting about what’s going on in the world and my portion of this blog is just like me BIPOLAR so you either love me and stay or love me and move the fuck on…either way I’m going to be me!

You have been warned…

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